Saturday, 20 August 2011

The Old Man's Words - Don't Panic

So we sit in the kitchen discussing Anthony Blunt and the spy thing and the art history thing... following on from a BBC Radio 4 "Reunion" programme.

(Eh-Em.. I would like to point out that decades ago I do myself attend an interview for a place studying art history at The Courtauld Institute (where Blunt taught). That would be a thing, if he had been on the interviewing panel. Of course I am not accepted. I do not "have the languages".)

So, like I say, we's be discussing such things as study and research...

"Of Course...." say Old Man: " there has to be sigorous research."

Silence descends on kitchen.

"Sigorous?" say I.

"Sigorous." say bit less confident Old Man.

"What you mean... SIGOROUS!" say panicked me.

Dear Reader, you may now wonder why I have such a dramatic reaction to The Old Man mangling his words these days. Well, he does report to his nurse and GP the incident where he cannot remember a word no matter how hard he try to say it.... (see this July post). And they both say that if such a thing do happen again we must dial 999 for Ambulance for it may be a mini-stroke or TIA thingy. But what they do not know is that The Old Man's speech is frequently sprinkled with malapropisms and spoonerisms. This latest instruction from the medics simply creates an almost permanent state of alarm and alert.

Seriously, one does not sleep so well for fear that he will literally mis-speak; and if he does we both have to jump on chairs and scream....

"Aargh! Argh! Don't panic...don't panic... "

Anyway this time we decide that this is The Old Man's usual cavalier way with words and settle on the theory that he was trying to say RIGOROUS.

As himself says: "That's next in line in the alphabet isn't it? Rigorous. Sigorous."

Yeah! True. Rigorous, shigorous, schmigorous.

"And then there's VIGOROUS..." say Old Man.

We live to fight another day.

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