Are we sitting comfortably?
Then Nursey will begin.
Once upon a time in the deep South West of the country there lived an Old Man. Let's just call him Cinders.
Now this Old Man he sat by his hearth and tended his chillies and baked his bread and read his newspapers.
One day this Old Man was feeling bad and the MedicalFairy saw him and say: "You shall go to the Party. But not before I have taken a little piece of your heart."
And Old Man Cinders say: "But I want you to leave my heart alone!"
And the MedicalFairy say: "Nonsense. Come with me and all will be well."
So the Old Man Cinders travelled into the East. And after the MedicalFairy had taken a little piece of his heart, he came home again - very surprised.
But in the process of having his heart taken to pieces - his feet grew.. and grew.
So the hunt began to find the slipper that would fit his foot.
High and low, in pouring rain, Nursey hunted. But his feet were so rare that only one pair could be found that would be the right size.
Nursey ran home with the precious pair and Cinders sat with his foot out to receive the magic slipper.
Dammee! Still don't fit.
And the moral is: "Partying till midnight and giving bits of your heart away gets you puffy ankles but probably still don't get you a Prince Charming".