The Woof and Tweet of it All

Ladies and Gentlemen, you may not know this.... but The Old Man is a bit of a Woof and Tweet merchant. No, no... he has neither Dog nor Twitter account. (How times and the vernacular have changed.) No.... The Old Man is a hi-fi buff.

And I mean really....he would not know what to do with an iPod or an MP3 player, he is barely on speaking terms with a CD.

No.... he lerves "Vinyl".
And I don't mean he frequents S&M clubs (nor M&S for that matter but that's another subject). Blimey, how fugitive is the patois of hobbies and passions.

The Old Man lerves his speakers, his amp, his pre-amp, his cartridge, his stylus and his arm. He loves them all with obsession and parental tenderness.

People like moi who cohabit with Hi-Fi People will resonate more than said woofers and tweeters with the familiarity of such scenarios as ..... the day the three-piece suite leaves the sitting room in order to accommodate the wardrobe sized speakers; the hours that the whole house vibrates to the tedious range of sounds and chunks of bad music that is - "The Hi-Fi Test Record"; the evenings of mummified hostessing when Hi-Fi fans get together... obsessively comparing and evaluating the qualities of their favoured cartridge.

And last but by no means least, the fact that I have not played any of my once beloved scratched LPs for years, nay decades even.... because I will not go near The Old Man's set-up which sports a stylus (commonly referred to as a "prickle" .... nuff said) that required a small mortgage.

Anyhoo. The Old Man now looks very glum indeed. I can't have a conversation with him. His eyes glaze over. His thoughts are elsewhere.....

The "Arm" is refusing to "Track".....
Translation: the sacred hardware will not play a record.