The Old Man Has That Hi-Fi Gleam In His Eye...

There has been much heaving around of the Hi-Fi furniture this afternoon as The Old Man determines that he do need a new amp. But the amp he be offered will not fit the current shelving arrangement... So he do need new shelving....

I tell you, hi-fi requirements be mighty similar to that old ditty, "I knew an old woman who swallowed a fly...", if you know what I mean.

I expect to be moving house shortly to accommodate the whole paraphernalia what do result from purchasing "a new amp".

Vinyl Struck: Listening To Robert Wyatt On Cork

I do love my vinyl playing set-up now that it is in place. The only change I have made, after a few playing attempts, is to order up a replacement mat. The deck comes with a thin felt mat which seems to increase static. Fluff and stuff fly to the record surface. And like some escalating slapstick scene .... when I lift up the record to change it, the mat sticks and tries to come along for the ride. As I try to sort that out... the rubber band what keeps the whole thing turning falls off. And we all do know what a trial it is when your rubber band falls off.
My solution is to buy a cork mat, a "Cork It" in fact. Bliss. No more fluff and static... and it do sound better also I think.

So I  catch up on LPs I haven't played for decades.....
....and my "new" treat.... which is "Rock Bottom" by Robert Wyatt... a layered dreamy thing, full of some kind of jazz and including an appearance from my favourite and late Scottish poet, Ivor Cutler.

Time Out For A Birthday

I wait impatiently for my film to be finished but that Mrs D do have a birthday and chooses to lounge about instead...

The Old Man do give in to her retro desire for vinyl and gets her a Birthday-Christmas-Birthday-Christmas... ya-da-ya-da... present. It's a record deck so that she can listen to her forty-five year old LPs. For those who like to know such things it be a "Pro-Ject Essential II " and she be mightily pleased with it.
And he do get her some jazz to play. And he do bake her a cake.

Very lovely. But where is my starring role in the Christmas production?
I am ready for my close-up, Mrs D.

If You Could Hear The Things I Hear When I'm Cleaning Records....

The Old Man is very happy playing with the present I do give him. It's a gizmo to help him clean his vinyl.... Record albums, that is.

It's called a Spin Clean and compared to top end products it doesn't cost a fortune but it does the job. I got him some new paper inner sleeves at the same time.

He's a happy bunny.

The Old Man Further Transported

.... as the new cartridge glides over a "supercut analogue" recording of Bernstein conducting Mahler's "Song of the Earth" with Dietrich Fischer-Dieskau....

... It leaves him speechless with a soppy half-smile on his face.

The Old Man Truly Receiveth The Needle

Today this small package landed on The Old Man's doorstep. An extremely small package of Japanese constructed loveliness (though not in its own handcrafted wooden box!) ... that do be The Old Man's cartridge.

I do go downstairs after a while to see the new cartridge operating by the light of an anglepoise directed at the turntable.

The Old Man be almost weeping.
"I can hear Tom Waits' words." say he.

The Old Man Gets The Needle

Some time back I did tell you of The Old Man's hi-fi concerns that did lead him to buy a New Arm. Okay you digital kids... don't worry about this strange world of analogue sound... just accept that those who are obsessed with it be... well and truly.... Obsessed. And that never can so much time and concentration and money be spent on a matchbox, pin, and a rubber band....

In my last post on the subject I did hint that a frown had settled on The Old Man's fizzog as he do contemplate.... The Cartridge.

Well his birthday time be approaching, as be Christmas if it come to that... and the Christmas after that.... and the Christmas after that.....
He have started calling me "Sweet Thing" and "Beloved" and other such suspicious terms of endearment. He have also gone so far as to consult with his old stomping ground chums of hi-fianalia, Walrus Systems, in order to gain some advice from those who do recall his system and his preferences. They have duly advised him.

The nettle of The Cartridge is being firmly grasped. But I do fear I be the one to be stung.

The Old Man Gets His Arm Back

To those of you concerned as to the outcome of The Old Man's Hi-Fi dilemma and related queasiness - described in previous posts.

Let me assure you that The Old Man grasps the nettle of The Invoice for Arm Repair. He rings up The Arm People who explain that they offer not so much a service as a Rebuild. So he gulps and says yes to the procedure.

Quick as you like... the Arm wings its way back to The Old Man. He declares it pristine and practically unrecognisable... and promptly ditches all other plans for the day in order to settle down by The Deck to reattach The Arm.

Some time later.... records are being played, The Old Man is smiling sweetly and all appears to be well.

As I waft past on the way to start making supper... a slight frown appears on The Old Man's phyzog.

"Of course... there is now the question of The Cartridge....." say he.

The Old Man Feels Queasy

So... you may remember that The Old Man is having some problems with his beloved Hi-Fi? (See 28 Sept Post.)

He be greatly comforted when the Arm Man tells him that he can send his non-tracking Arm back home.... and they will take great care of it and make it a-a-a-all better. This he does....

.... and Friday he gets the pre-pay invoice for the servicing of The Arm...

Around lunchtime The Old Man reports he be feeling sick. As usual, we anxiously consider possible causes. Has he eaten something that's upsetting him? But.... we decide that it is the size of the pre-pay invoice that is turning his stomach!

The Old Man's Hi-Fi

Alors!
The Old Man makes a phone call to the makers' of his Beloved Arm (hi-fi equipment - see previous post). His voice drops from petrified treble to relaxed baritone as he exchanges "woof-tweet-arm" talk with person on other end of phone. Formidable! They will look at the poor mal-functioning arm.

Voila!
Il est un homme transforme.

The Woof and Tweet of it All

Ladies and Gentlemen, you may not know this.... but The Old Man is a bit of a Woof and Tweet merchant. No, no... he has neither Dog nor Twitter account. (How times and the vernacular have changed.) No.... The Old Man is a hi-fi buff.

And I mean really....he would not know what to do with an iPod or an MP3 player, he is barely on speaking terms with a CD.

No.... he lerves "Vinyl".
And I don't mean he frequents S&M clubs (nor M&S for that matter but that's another subject). Blimey, how fugitive is the patois of hobbies and passions.

The Old Man lerves his speakers, his amp, his pre-amp, his cartridge, his stylus and his arm. He loves them all with obsession and parental tenderness.

People like moi who cohabit with Hi-Fi People will resonate more than said woofers and tweeters with the familiarity of such scenarios as ..... the day the three-piece suite leaves the sitting room in order to accommodate the wardrobe sized speakers; the hours that the whole house vibrates to the tedious range of sounds and chunks of bad music that is - "The Hi-Fi Test Record"; the evenings of mummified hostessing when Hi-Fi fans get together... obsessively comparing and evaluating the qualities of their favoured cartridge.

And last but by no means least, the fact that I have not played any of my once beloved scratched LPs for years, nay decades even.... because I will not go near The Old Man's set-up which sports a stylus (commonly referred to as a "prickle" .... nuff said) that required a small mortgage.

Anyhoo. The Old Man now looks very glum indeed. I can't have a conversation with him. His eyes glaze over. His thoughts are elsewhere.....

The "Arm" is refusing to "Track".....
Translation: the sacred hardware will not play a record.