Monday, 3 December 2012

Madame Deficit Admires The Rural View

Oh my dears, as you know I am a lover of the countryside and all things rural... But even I do pause for thought when Planning Minister "Nick" Boles points out the "moral right" of people to have their own homes surrounded with garden. How hard it must be to be a modern Tory... straddling so many viewpoints. Presumably these "moral right" homes should only contain the appropriate number of bedrooms... (see previous post). Consequently, he do say, we must be prepared to start building on open land, tout suite!

Brush away those open fields and rural views. Don't you know that the built environment can be beautiful too? says Mr Boles. Oh but I do, Mr Boles... you can see an example of my own architectural inspiration in one of my previous posts here.

Brush away those green hills and fluffy sheep.. (Oh dear but I be so fond of the petit fluffy mouton things). Brush away the objections of those National Trust 'latter-day Luddites'. (Alors! Was not Daddy Boles a National Trust Chief Exec back in the 1970s?) Build, Build, Build.... but nothing "pig ugly", mind. We must have standards, but let us not stand in the way of progress. Fill the view with lovely, lovely buildings. I am particularly fond of those bijoux estates of houses with gardens... the ones that hunch up together for comfort? Where you can gaze out of the kitchen window at your own patch of lawn, raise your eyes... and stare into the eyes of your neighbour at their kitchen sink ten feet away. Such bonhomie.

And let us not stop there. We must be practical. Nuclear power stations. Lots of those. If we can get some poor mutt to pay for them. Let not the Luddites stand in the way of progress. Let's not mess around with wind turbines. No.. all the fuel generation can now take place where Mr Osborne prefers... out of sight and underground. Aah the joys of fracking.

Build... Build.... However.... I do be a little concerned at the prospect of more rain, Mr Boles. You know.... all those inconvenient floods we do have recently? It just may be that concreting over those useless green fields may contribute to the problem of drainage? Where do the rain waters go? Perhaps I speak out of turn. I just be a little old fluffy head brioche-eater. But.....

Better to build on stilts perhaps?

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