In all seriousness...

So we are about a week till The Old Man has to travel 100 miles away to have the heart operation. And we decided I would not try and stay near the hospital, but come home to look after the house and the plants - particularly his chillie plants. He do love a chillie.

And so I will sit here and wonder how he's doing. And see if I can get to visit him. And hope there's no emergency cos I don't drive.

Yes, I know everyone says ... "ooh living where you do, you really ought to...."

But I'm too old to learn to drive. I've never wanted to anyway. People drive like madthings in these narrow country lanes. I don't think I can talk and drive at the same time.

And there was more of a goddamned BUS SERVICE when we moved here!

So where was I?
Oh, Yes. And people offer their help. They say: "If there is anything we can do.." And I know that they mean it.

When the Old Man jokes about "Choosing the flowers", everyone says: "Oh you mustn't talk like that." But you know? You do have to talk like that. I mean, you do have to talk ABOUT it.

So, you have split-personality conversations like:

"Where shall I put the winter squash this year? Do you want to be buried or cremated?"

"When my heart is fixed, I'd like to take up singing again.
I don't want a service or speeches."

"You know - maybe the new sun lounge roof should be solid for part of it - maybe we could afford some solar panels?"

"And I want irises - bearded irises."